Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Curve Ball

Life throws curve balls.

Sometimes, it seems that just when my feet are solidly planted under me, life throws a curve ball that throws me off balance again.

I mentioned that the past couple of years have been chock full of challenge. Apparently 2010 doesn’t want to be left out of that party.

Last week, my husband’s uncle passed away of cancer. He was diagnosed in May 2009, and between that time and last Tuesday, he truly fought the good fight, with his sweet and caring wife of 45 years beside him.

But, the cancer was aggressive and continued to gain momentum. It metastasized and spread to his brain around Christmas time.

His memorial service was so touching and full of love, and it sent me reeling into a deep pool of thought about what’s really important in life, and who is really important in my life, and what I want to make of my life on this earth. The words that his sons shared reached into my heart and squeezed it hard.

Would anyone be able to say things like that about me?

Who would I say things like that about?

And then I had to go out of town again.

No time to process…

Sometime between last week and this week, my husband bought a newer car. His had started veering towards the unreliable end of the spectrum, it had high miles, and because his job includes spending 8-10 hours a day driving around town… it needed an upgrade. So, he bought a newer version of his Envoy and immediately fell in love with it. He found one with low miles and some nice upgrades to what he had before.

A good thing, right? We were both happy, and he was excited to have made this decision.

Then, this afternoon, as I wrapped up my work for the day and searched for an earlier flight home (I’m in Atlanta as I write this), I get a text that says, “Call me when you have time to talk.”

Usually when hubby sends me something like that, it’s not great news.

I picked up the phone immediately, and the news that greeted me knocked the wind out of me.

He’d been let go from his job.

The job that he’d worked so hard to get.

The job that, a mere 8 months ago, had finally rescued us from a year and a half of unemployment.

It just…

I am baffled.

The good, lucky thing is that the bank loan hadn’t yet been processed for the new car (though the transaction happened five days before), so he took it back as soon as he got the news. Remarkably, they also still had his car, so they pulled the deal and he drove home in his stinky old Envoy.

So, at least we have two clear-title cars. This is a good thing… less to worry about.

We’ll be okay.

We always are.

I know that this means something better, more fitting, and more wonderful is on the horizon. I get that, and I have faith.

But in this moment…

I am crushed.


  1. I am sending you energy of comfort and peace through the miles. One of my favorite quotes is by Carl Sagan. He says, "Somewhere something incredible is waiting to be known." I believe that while yes, right now you are crushed, baffled, hurt, confused, and probably a little angry, you and your hubby have something so incredible waiting for you that it will blow your mind.

    *hugs* my friend...

  2. I'm sorry, LL. So much to deal with in such a short time. Keeping you both in my thoughts and hope that a new job will open up very soon.