I’m feeling a bit needy today and wanting comments and connection.
But, also trying to keep in mind the valuable lessons in The Four Agreements, which I recently read. So, I’m concentrating on not taking it personally when people don’t respond, comment, or reply to emails/phone calls/etc.
The behavior of others has nothing to do with me, after all, and everything to do with that individual.
I really didn’t believe that when I first read it, but after careful consideration, I agree.
I’m also learning to ask more questions to gain better understanding, instead of making assumptions which usually leads me down a road I’d rather not traverse.
Case in point: Someone asked me if I still had a necklace that matched a pair of earrings I have listed on Etsy. The earrings are quite simple, but the necklace that matched them was—while a nice design, it may be considered “too much” by some because it’s a more intricate piece than some folks like.
I replied with pictures of the necklace that had sold. I asked if she was interested in having me make something for her that would match the earrings.
After seeing the picture, she replied with a no thanks.
Here’s where the road diverges.
In the past, I would have read something into that.
She didn’t like the necklace.
She thought it was ugly.
She thought it was too busy.
Instead, I did something different.
I asked her a follow-up question.
I asked her if she would tell me what she likes. Not because I wanted to sell her a necklace, but because I’m re-evaluating my inventory and what I offer to my customers, and I’m genuinely curious.
Which is absolutely true. I always wonder what people think, what people want to buy, what people like and want to wear. Those questions are in my mind anytime I design a piece.
See how easy that was?
Instead of making an assumption, or a judgment that almost always leads me down a road of negativity, asking her those questions also allowed my train of thought to get away from the “not good enough” fears.
Instead, I got to nurture my positive, optimistic, inquisitive side.
I could get used to this!