Wordless Wednesday - My New Favorite Song...

Gary Go - Speak

It's about surrender...

Wordless Wednesday - Family

Writing for Growth - Starting Tonight!

I wanted to take a moment to talk about a class that Mark Rogers and I have put together. It's called Writing for Growth, and we are offering the class beginning tonight... Wednesday, August 17th.

• Are you a writer who's currently blocked or having trouble pushing through the next stage of your writing? 
• Have you ever been curious about taking your journal writing deeper, but not sure how or where to start? 
• Are you into personal growth and looking for a new and more effective way to grow?

Writing for Growth is an exciting prospect, full of possibilities. And to prove it to you, we are beginning this class with a freebie! Join us tonight, August 17th for a free class, to see what you think and see if the techniques provided will work for you.

Check out the three posts Mark has written about how Writing for Growth can help you. And, check out my posts about how passionate I am about this project, and what skills I bring to the table. 

Please go to the About page on the website to sign up. 

And of course, we have a Facebook page!

Just a note... If you aren't interested, or if you can't participate, but you know someone who would-- please do pass this message along!

Adventures in Online Dating - Part 4

The "Don't Go Back to Snarkville" Edition. 

Oh wait... we never left Snarkville. Carry on, then.

So, apparently I have a lot to say about this whole dating thing.

I’m glad that I’ve taken a step back from it all, because, quite frankly—I totally get why so many folks get discouraged quickly in the online dating scene.

I’m not discouraged, per se. A little disappointed, maybe?

It helps that I am incredibly busy—which helps me stay detached from all the potential discouragement I would feel if I made dating and trying to find someone amazing a central focus in my life.

So, since I’ve got a virtually endless amount of fodder for the ole blog… I thought I’d have another go at another snarky post. Aren’t you glad?

I have my profile on two sites: Match (a paid site) and okcupid (a free site).

What’s interesting is that I have completely different experiences on both sites.

On Match, the trend seems to be men who are looking for Barbie with a Perfect Body™ who are approximately 5 years younger than they are (I mean, one guy actually said that in his profile: “Ok, I want someone who is 5 years younger than I, because that’s what I’m supposed to look for”).

(No individual thought necessarily, apparently…)

And… generally speaking, these guys are also looking for women who are ready to pump out babies.

You might gather that I don’t spend a whole lot of time on Match.  

First of all, the site is clunky. And after going on one date with someone who almost worked for Match, I now understand why the site feels so squicky to me.

If you’re in the online dating game, pay attention to this part.

Match actually use algorithms that are designed to bring two people together who will date for a short while… and then break it off… therefore, sending both parties back to Match.com.

In other words, the actual matches who end up getting married are flukes.

(Side note to say how the nerd in me is whirring like crazy, wanting to know the ratio of Match hook-ups to actual marriages and failed relationships, the standard deviation, etc...)

Kind of brilliant, when you think about it, but if you’re on the receiving end of that, or if you’ve been on Match for a while and have paid them a lot of money—it kind of sucks.

And while the quality of men has the appearance of being somewhat better on Match vs. on okcupid… the general consensus is that they also seem to be looking for some sort of invisible standard of perfection that just doesn’t exist in a human.

The level of bitterness I see in Match profiles is also far higher than on okcupid. Men who have apparently been in the circuit for quite some time (looking for that elusive perfection?) who have plenty to say about what you should or should not bring to the table if you dare to send them a message.

I think it’s reasonable to say that I get much more actual fodder for my blog from okcupid, though, since most of the profiles I’ve come across on Match are written by men who can actually write a sentence containing a noun and a verb, and the messages I’ve received there have mostly been polite, and I can’t say the same for okcupid. I think most all of the tidbits I’ve posted have originated from okcupid, but that makes sense for several reasons.

• I spend more time on okcupid
• It’s a more user-friendly site
• It’s a better site overall, with better matching capabilities
• Frankly, there are just more people
• There doesn’t seem to be any sort of literacy clause for okcupid

And while it’s not quantity vs. quality, certainly—quantity helps, when you’re trying to find quality. Maybe it’s the old adage of finding a needle in a haystack… If you’re searching through a larger haystack, it might take longer to find the needle, but maybe there are… more… needles?? Ok, maybe that doesn’t work so well after all. Hm.

I want to stress that so far, the folks I’ve gotten past the messaging stage, texting stage, and to the talking-on-the-phone and meeting-in-person stage have been at the very least interesting and engaging. I’ve had some really great conversations, some amazing connections, and some wonderful laughs. I’ve even learned some great things along the way.

Again… what I’m referring to here are exceptions.

Or worse—they start out seeming relatively normal, but as time goes by, the insecurity, control issues, and desperation are revealed.

Here we go.

First, some more one-line messages:

talk to me

I don’t know what to say about this. I don’t take to being bossed around very well. Just ask my ex-husband, or anyone who knows me at all. I don’t like being told what to do. Especially not by a stranger. This sort of message will, again, garner zero response from me.

Hey, I would really enjoy talking to you.

So, I looked at his profile, just out of curiosity… then got sidetracked because I was in the middle of doing something else. This is as good a time as any to mention that I’m ADD.

Twenty minutes later, I got this message:

I guess that means "no"...LOL ;()

Well, fine. You guessed right, buddy.

Sadly, I hadn’t meant anything by not responding right away, other than—I got distracted, and then forgot about it.

What turned me off was the fact that he jumped to a conclusion so quickly and assumed that I wasn’t interested, even though I hadn’t really made my mind up—until he sent that second message.

hello would you like o go boating or motorcycling?

Sure. With someone I know, who I am certain won’t use the opportunity to conveniently dump my body somewhere…

you are irresistibly gorgeous.. can i have your number?

*sigh*

*eyeroll*

Please see Part 1.

Except, this same guy emailed me when I first signed up on okcupid, with the exact same message: You are irresistibly gorgeous. Can I have your number?

Back then, I responded with “It’s a bit early for that.”

(This was back when I responded to every message—which didn’t last long!)

U r deffenalty cute n funny, that's a big plus for me, hi I'm (name removed—I do at least have that much decency) is great to meat u

Auuugh!!! I have no words for this spelling and grammar nightmare. Mostly just screaming. And I really, really don’t want to MEAT anyone.

hey hope u dewing good

Gross! I mean, I know this is Texas and all, but I really don’t want to talk to any stranger about dew, unless we’re talking about Mountain Dew (the soda) or dew that appears on grass on a humid morning.

Hi Linda, can you chat?

Thanks for assuming I go by Linda, and thanks for not noticing that I have the chat feature disabled on okcupid.

The Uber Lazy Guy

The guy who can’t be bothered to check his “Sent” folder. Which, by the way, is right at the top of the Messages tab. Very easy to find… Even my mom could find it.

Wait. Ok, maybe my mom couldn’t find it… but my aunt definitely could.

Hello! I've gotten so lost on this site that I honestly don't know if I've sent you a message yet or not...oh, dear. Let's hope I wasn't a dick before.
Love your smirky pics, though you have a terrific smile.
Are you still actively looking on the site? Please check out my profile and see if there is anything there that intrigues you. I'm just new and clumsy with this, so trying not to overdo it.
Best,
(name removed)

What this message says to me is that he can’t really be bothered to say something about what I wrote in my profile—only about the pictures I posted.

Let me reiterate. I am prolific in my profile—at the very least, in hopes of offering some point of connection to make it easier for a guy to reach out to me. If you can’t find at least one thing from my profile to mention to me in a message, then why should I bother responding? This is minimal effort. Really… minimal.

The I’m a Good Kisser™ Claim

I am tired of seeing “I’m a great kisser” in profiles. It’s old, it’s tired, and in my experience, it’s usually not true.

If you feel the need to brag about something so personal and so subjective in your profile, that tells me you probably aren’t very good at it.

I kind of equate the kissing thing to the “I love to laugh!” statement.

I don’t know of anyone I’ve met who doesn’t enjoy kissing, if it’s with the right person. Same with laughing, right? So stop talking about it in your profile. Kissing is something that stems from the chemistry between two people, and I’ve kissed people who have claimed to be great kissers, and you know what? It was awful.

The worst was a guy back in my college days. It was New Year’s Eve, and I was at a friend’s house in Connecticut. This guy told a lot of tall tales that evening, including how he had hitchhiked across the US. But perhaps the tallest tale was his endless bragging about how great a kisser he was.

At midnight, he made me his target.

I even remember the guy's name, too. Unfortunately, his mouth was more memorable than his name. He opened his jaw alarmingly wide—I mean—imagine a cartoon head where the head completely swivels backwards (like the Canadians in South Park)—and he aimed for the general vicinity of my mouth with his teeth.

Yes.

He actually surrounded my entire mouth (including my lips!) with his teeth.

It felt as if there was a fish with teeth sucking on my mouth. It was bizarre, painful, and quite honestly, one of the weirdest experiences of my freshman year.

I can't entirely recall how I got out of that one, but I made my escape and then made myself remarkably scarce for the rest of the evening. 

Red Flags—They’re Everywhere, They’re Everywhere!

Then there’s this guy.

Hi. I was browsing the site while on a slow moment on vacation today. I saw your profile and would like to start a conversation with you but do not want to wait till I return when I have time to be witty and clever.
Since I have to get back to family and my vacation, I invite you to check out my profile and see if it can be interesting enough to get you to reply back.

(emphasis mine)

I didn’t really know what to think of that first message. He’s on vacation, yet just bored enough to be surfing okcupid… Okay, I can roll with that. But that last bit felt just the slightest bit like he needed validation, or needed to know that he was worthy of a reply.

I replied… and we sent a few messages back and forth, and then I got busy, and then I got involved with someone for a little bit…

And then this guy sent me a message where I could tell he was trying to be funny, but it just came off as pathetic. He pointed out a variety of statements he had made in his previous message that could have possibly offended me. But he wasn’t funny about it, at all.

It probably doesn’t help that I was spending time with an actual comedian at the time, who was actually funny—so to this emailing dude’s detriment, I suppose that made him seem all the more pathetic.

But I digress. I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I sent him a message that I would reply with more soon. Part of me wanted to give this guy another chance to not seem so desperate, and in the mean time, I did want to see how he responded to that.

Well…

About a week went by, and I didn’t reply back.

And then I got this message:

Hi.
Passed a city sign on my way home from Bridgeport today. The city was Newark and i could not for the life of me figure out why it was ringing a bell in my head. Then I remembered you had gone to Newark recently. I then realized you had not written back yet. It has been a while since I have heard from you and thought I would try to contact you once more. Here is hoping that this message prompts a response!

Okay, now that you’ve gotten downright demanding on me, that means you’ll get nothing more from me (again with the whole telling me what to do thing). I should have gotten that clue when I read his profile, where he plainly states (as the very first thing you read on his profile) that he doesn't like okcupid's quick rating system, and he pretty much demands that you wait until you know him before giving him a rating.

People with control issues, or who are just... holding on too tightly... will show their true colors soon enough, and I'm afraid this dude falls into that bucket.

I do happen to be a very busy woman, and not actually busy with dating… but with—gasp—living my life. And if someone is going to have the patience in the early, getting-to-know-you stages where it’s no big deal if it takes me 3-4 days to respond to a message you’ve sent me, then I’ll have a whole lot more respect for you, and chances are, it will take me less and less time to respond to you.

See how that works? As I get to know someone better, and we have more and more common ground, more and more things to talk about… I begin to carve out time for that person. I move that person up the priority list, so to speak.

But it takes mutual respect. It takes a little bit of patience, and that also means—please don’t jump to conclusions, don’t assume (because, you know what they say about that), don’t hide behind your own judgments. Don’t assume that you are suddenly the center of my universe, because I responded to one message you sent me. Don’t assume that I don’t like you if it takes me several days to get back to you.

In other words… and please, bear with me at the hilarity and it’s-come-full-circle-ish-ness of this: don’t play games!

Just be real. Just be honest… be you.

That’s all I ask, and yet—it seems to be asking quite a lot.

Hitting the Reset Button

"'All there is to thinking,' he said, 'is seeing something noticeable which makes you see something you weren't noticing which makes you see something that isn't even visible.'" – A River Runs Through It by Norman Maclean

Sometimes, I’m guilty of thinking too much.

I’ve been sitting here for the past five days, unable to do much of anything (except sleeping—I’ve been a champ at that) without feeling dizzy, light-headed, feverish, clammy, and basically… like crap.

I’ve had a double ear infection, and possibly also the start of a sinus infection. And apparently the doctor didn’t bother to look at my history to see that I usually have to have stronger antibiotics from the get-go, because my body resists weaker ones like nobody’s business.

So I finally called yesterday and requested a stronger one, since I wasn’t better after starting the meds on Thursday. They called one in for me this morning, and now hopefully I’ll be on my way to better.

And in the mean time, I’ve tried working on work stuff (I'm so very behind), blog posts (it's embarrassing how many "in progress" blog posts I have going), Writing for Growth stuff (we're starting this Wednesday, the 17th, and the first class is **free** by the way!), as well as all the usual day-to-day living stuff, like laundry, cleaning, and cooking.

My body has been trying to hit the Reset button, and yet, I’ve been fighting it.

(I know, I know… how’s that working for me?)

What I’ve realized is that it’s more than frustration over being sick. It’s general malaise and frustration over where I am in a few areas of my life.

Spending too much time alone and having entirely too much time on my hands where I am unable to carry on about my life tends to send me into a funk. Because my mind starts going too fast… my gears turn too fast… I think way too much and then, all I can think of are all the places where I come up short.

It’s so easy to do, isn’t it? It’s so easy to get mired in all the areas where we come up short—but as compared to what? Or who? Compared to peers, friends, co-workers? Compared to family, neighbors, or even strangers?

Who exactly am I comparing myself to when I get into this negative head game?

The answer, for me…

No one.

See, I have these invisible standards in my head, and the standards basically equal perfection. And I have worked really hard to let go of my need for perfection in all areas of my life… and I have been doing exceptionally well with that—even when faced against some pretty significant obstacles.

But when I am forced to slow down because my body needs time to heal—to reset—my brain just can’t stand it, and it has to go and cause trouble in my heart.

So… on a day like today, when I’m finally starting to feel better, and I’m realizing the pattern I’ve been rolling around and “wallering” in over the last couple of days, and just as I get seated in today’s solid round of beating myself up…

My very own Prince Charming, complete with rhinestone sparkles!

I get a package like this in the mail.

And the note accompanying it reads:

Here is a frog for you to kiss. 

This one doesn’t talk back.

(In reference to this post)

Sometimes, all you need to hit the “Reset” button on your day—and even your whole attitude, really—is a good laugh.

Thank you, D, for giving me that good laugh today…

Why Writing is So Important to Me

"Words are tears that have been written down. Tears are words that need to be shed. Without them, joy loses all its brilliance and sadness has no end. Thank you, then, for your tears." ~ Paulo Coelho

As an extrovert who posed as an introvert for most of my life, I think I have an interesting perspective on using writing as a way of expressing myself.

Growing up, I was overwhelmed with all the experiences I had in my day-to-day life. I went through all these things, but I didn’t seem to have a good way to process what I was going through.

As I mentioned before… I started writing. In fact, one of the first things I wrote in my very first journal at the age of 9 was this poem:

Some People

Some people are happy,

some people are sad,
some people are mad,
and some people just don't understand.

But most of all,

people are different and have different feelings.
So don't feel left out
just because you have different feelings,
because you can only be you,
and no one else.

Um, yeah. I was 9. I promise!

Writing began as my lifeline.

In college, I wrote a lot to counterbalance all of the pain my mind was opened up to, as I learned about the state of education and our schools around the country, as I learned more about politics, foreign nations, and the plight of third world countries. My world opened wide, my heart hurt for those I could not touch, and I needed an outlet.

And it was writing.

In those college years and shortly after… writing was sometimes the only thing that helped me maintain any semblance of sanity.

During my senior year in college, I took a non-credit class called Creative Inquiry. The facilitator helped us delve into what makes us creative individuals and why that makes us special. At the end of that class, the facilitator gave me a gift: Natalie Goldberg’s volume, Long Quiet Highway.

In that book, I read about Natalie starting a writing group. I instantly knew that I wanted to do the same.

In 2004, my journey as a writer took a new turn when I created that writing group. This wasn’t a typical critique group, though. Those are a dime a dozen, and available just about anywhere. This group was a writing practice group, where I created lessons including snippets from experienced writers, writing exercises, and then sharing those exercises.

It became a safe place for budding writers to dive deep into their potential, shake things up, and see what happened.

At the beginning of the four year stint that I facilitated the group, I started out completely unable to write fiction. I wrote angsty prose about my life that really wasn’t terribly interesting to read. I didn’t go very deep, I didn’t process much, and it felt… empty.

At the end of that four years, though, I was writing well-crafted fiction and personal stories that were interesting, and at times even deeply moving. I not only grew on a personal level, but my writing progressed exponentially because of the type of lessons we did during our meetings.

I am bringing some of the same exercises to Writing for Growth, and with Mark’s psychology background, we have created a really exciting class.

I think we are born with all the wisdom we really need. And as a wise man recently said… we’re born with all the genius we need, but during the violence of birth, we forget.

And we spend the rest of our lives trying to remember why we were placed here in the first place, and learning how to allow that person to be.

I have felt that journey very deeply over the last year of my life, as I have learned how to better express myself verbally as well as in writing.

And I’ve learned quite a bit in my journey.

I’ve seen how writing has helped me, at times, when nothing else could. I am positively passionate about writing, the impact that writing can have on your life, the way it can help shape you, and how it can help you grow.

And now, I have a whole new attitude towards expression, freedom, and writing, and I am excited to share it in Writing for Growth.

Won’t you join us? 

(And please... like us on Facebook?)

Why Write?

If you’re an extrovert, it’s easy to “tell your stories” isn’t it? If your friends let you off the hook, you never get to dig deeper to gain understanding, knowledge, or growth from experiences—you get to stay in story land indefinitely. And sometimes, it feels like you’re on a ferry, shuffling back and forth between “here” and “there”. It feels like you're not really growing, or progressing.

And sometimes, it’s worse than that. You process all your “stuff” with your friends or family. But if your friends/family (or the appropriate friends/family) aren’t available, you do it with whoever’s available.

Can you say… drama? And how much does that really help you, anyway?

What if you could find a way to process in a healthy way, a different way, a better way?

It’s not about reading yet another self-help book. It’s not about reading another book at all, actually.

"Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren't. I'm not surprised some people prefer books. Books make sense of life. The only problem is that the lives they make sense of are other people's lives, never your own." – Flaubert’s Parrot, by Julian Barnes

What if you could find a way to make sense of your own stories… your own life? What if you could quiet the compulsion to read every self-help book with an English translation?

What Pathways and other experience-based training courses do within the training is amazing—especially for extroverts. We get to open up wide and process, right there in front of everyone. And we get help to do it, too.

But what about after the training is over? Do you ever find yourself wanting to call up your small group and get in a circle, chair legs touching, so you can really get to the bottom of things?

Well, good—you’ve acknowledged that you need help to understand what’s going on in your heart. But real life doesn’t quite work like a small group, does it?

What’s even more powerful, though—is learning how to get those earth-shattering realizations, light bulb moments, epiphanies—by doing powerful processing—all by yourself.

How?

Well, allow me offer my own perspective…

I am a writer, first and foremost. I’ve been writing since I was old enough to hold a crayon. I couldn’t wait to learn how to write my name, and then—what else could I write? Well, my family’s names, of course. Jill. David. Wendy. Paula. It kind of exploded from there. 

And then, there was that day when my friend Amanda Baker gave me a journal when I was 9 years old.

It was a spare, she said.
She didn’t need it, she said.

It’s telling that that was the start of it all for me. I wrote stories, I wrote out my angst, my worries (I had so many back then), and it was the very beginning of my life long healing process.

You never know what small and seemingly insignificant acts of kindness can do for someone. I’m sure Amanda never expected me to start writing—and never stop. I didn’t expect it either. All I knew was that I had a lot to say, and no one to talk to.

No one, except my diary.

Even writing blog posts helps me grow. The experiences I have with life, with day-to-day living—they soak into my psyche, and I have to do something to work through whatever is troubling my heart. Writing is one of my best tools for that, and when I write, I am able to turn off the noise in my brain to the point where my hand moving across the page essentially translates what’s coming straight from my heart.

I process it. I think about it. I realize things… and then, I find a way to incorporate what I’ve learned into the next set of choices I make—while also letting go of the pain I felt during the experience.

And, in my day-to-day writing (which—I feel it’s important for you to know—I journal by hand every day), I realize things. I get those light-bulb moments because I am well-practiced at it.

And now, I’m ready to help others who want to try this writing thing out as a way of growing on a deeply personal level. 

I’m so excited for our Writing for Growth class to begin. I have a nearly endless repertoire of techniques, exercises, and insight to offer so that you can use one of man’s greatest tools—writing—to grow yourself.

And the added bonus is—we’ll meet in a small group format. So you’ll also have a chance to connect in a meaningful way with other like-minded folks, each on his or her own journey.

Mark has the psychology background, and he has many years of experience helping people grow. He has eloquently described what it’s like for introverts in the training. Check out his three recent posts.

And regardless of whether you have or haven’t been through Pathways, or Zac’s, or Discovery, or any other experience-based training, Writing for Growth may be just the thing that helps you get to the next level. It may lead you on a journey you never knew you could take.

If you've been curious to try writing, in any capacity, then please...

Join us, won’t you?

(We start August 10th. All details at the website! You can also "Like" us on Facebook!)

Adventures in Online Dating - Part 3

The Snarkville Edition

You’ve asked for it. So, I thought I would give you the snarky version of my adventures in online dating. All in good fun, of course! So, sit back, relax, and enjoy that cold iced tea on this hot summer day.

I’ll add this as a disclaimer. If you are a decent guy and we’ve exchanged enough messages for me to feel inclined to send you to my blog, then what you may have said to me wouldn’t end up here. These are the extremes. So please… enjoy, and hopefully you’ll get a laugh—or at the very least, your eyes will be opened wide at just how challenging it is out there in dating land…

The Dude Posing as a Hot Chick™

Oh yes. It’s the internet, so any dude who’s angry at his ex can steal her pictures and create a profile, posing as a bisexual girl. What usually gives it away is “her” reference to how much she loves my boobs.

Yes.

Really.

I typically dress in a normal, non-trashy way. I like to leave something to the imagination, or at least, I like to leave something to the discovery of someone special. So, with the photos I post, it’s actually not possible to tell much of anything about my breasts.

Thus… the dead giveaway…

The 20-Year-Olds

I am inundated with them. I honestly don’t understand it. What’s the draw of a mid-30s woman if you’re in your early 20s? I am nobody’s Mrs. Robinson, nor do I want to be! The only thing that makes sense to me is that these people are looking for a mother. Ew. Or someone to show them the ropes. Double ew.

My favorites, though, are the ones who message me over and over again, with the same unimaginative lines (See Adventures in Online Dating – Part 1).

You Think You’re Funny. Think Again.

Here’s a message I got from someone just yesterday:

“Sorry - I think my mind vapor-locked at this point in your summary:
"...you appreciate a woman who can fit into a variety of situations..."
I laughed so hard I cried.”

Well, then, just cry in your own drool there, 46 year-old dude, because you’re getting nothing from me.

(Immaturity comes in all ages, apparently)

The Fetish Guy

There’s always a fetish guy, hanging around and leaping out of the woodwork when you least expect it.

From his profile:

“I have kink in that I love women to wear pantyhose without underwear and have only dated women that have a thing for pantyhose as well for the past several years. It makes things very spicy and I will not date anyone not into it as well. Life is to short not to enjoy the pleasure of a shared interest with someone:) THIS IS A 100% DEAL BREAKER FOR ME, sorry.
A woman in all sheer nude pantyhose will have my full undivided and get an invitation to dinner, maybe.”

(I love the “maybe” part, personally.)

What’s more interesting though, is that this guy actually emailed me, which is how I saw his profile in the first place. I got to the end of his profile and saw the pantyhose fetish, and this is the response I sent him:

“Pantyhose?
Yeah. I'm reallllly not your woman. I can't STAND to wear those things. I haven't worn them in probably 20 years, but I have let go of the anger I once felt towards the man who invented them, haha.”

I wonder why I didn’t get a response?

The Total Creep

Then, there’s this guy. I really have no words for this profile, which I’m including a large section of, because it’s just… wow. Really, I have no words.

“this isn't a self summary this is a summery of what i'm looking for so here goes.i'm a well to do male looking for a good woman,not just any woman but that takes care of herself and is in very good shape,she must love to f*** at the drop of a hat,i want a slut in bed,and an elegant lady in public,i want her to be submissive,and ill treat her right,i want a loving woman to,someone smart and touchy feely,someone that is into bettering herself,education wise,having a job isnt a must.If your not any of these things then move along,dont be fake eather to think you'll get somewere at my expense.lets be honest ladies.no man wants a woman that doesnt like a good f******.and isnt a little slutty,it doesnt mean you cant be classy at the same time
[I'm really good at] my job,im a gynecologist and i love it,im good at cooking,golf,piano,and most importantly sex”

EW EW EW EW… The squick factor is just off the charts on this one. I have no other words, really, except that this guy is a major creep, and I can’t imagine he gets anything but hateful emails.

I can’t even touch the spelling, grammar, and other errors. Really… can’t touch. We’d be here all night.

I’m at a loss for this last category…

This was actually in a 42 year-old man’s profile: 

"Damn! Tons of hot babies cruising my scene but no talky, just walky." 

I responded and said that most ladies are waiting for the guy to make the first move. I’m thinking I should have saved my fingers from typing those words, because this is the response I got:

“pursued or stalked? I feel like s douche chattin up some hunnies sumtimes. I guess most of the chicas I've made time with have chased me down for the most part. That way I know they're diggin on the ten-pin. Yeah that's me, Benny Ten-pin. When the ladies chase down the Ten-pin, that's how I know they want all this.......yo.”

Yes.

Really.

There are other categories, of course. The guy who tries too hard… the guy who clearly paints himself as better than everyone else… the guy who knows he is in no way good enough for me, but gives it a half-ass attempt anyway… the overly non-chalant guy who can’t even remember if he’s messaged me before (because it’s too hard for him to look in his “Sent” folder, apparently)…  and many more, I’m sure. I may continue this in a Snarkville Vol. 2 post. We’ll see!