The past few months have been incredibly stressful. I don't want to get too far into it, but we've been struggling financially. It's a likely story, and I know a lot of you are probably feeling the same crunch, but it really wears on you after a while. I keep thinking, "When will we get a break?"
And then, I feel ashamed for feeling that way. I have so many blessings in my life-- so many things to be grateful for. And, truth be told-- I am grateful. Incredibly! But I often wonder what's in store for us, when it feels like everyday life is an uphill battle. When it feels like we just can't get ahead, no matter what we do or how creative we get.
The real truth is that I have learned the value of asking for help. Help in finding work, help in keeping us going, help in the form of emotional support, prayers, or just positive thoughts. Help comes in all sizes and shapes, and when I dare to ask for it, it often shows itself in the most needed and often the most unexpected of ways.
I feel so beautifully blessed by all of the friends who have extended a hand to us over the past few months. Whether it's sending us job postings, or even just a thoughtful email-- the words have meant so much, and the sentiment has meant even more.
I used to pride myself on "never needing help". Years ago, I realized this was a silly notion. Everyone needs help. Of course I needed help! And yet, making myslef vulnerable enough to allow others to help me was something so foreign, I could never see myself doing it.
Fast forward to today, when it's still difficult for me to ask for help-- but the difference is, I care enough about myself, and I do trust in the process that is... life. I can put myself out there. I can allow myself to be vulnerable. I can admit when I need help.
Things are finally starting to glance up for us... and we're hoping the light at the end of the tunnel soon becomes brighter, bigger, and better over the next month.
I've been quiet here, because I have everything and nothing to say. I have thought about sharing more of myself here, but then-- I know that blogs are a dime a dozen... who has time to read everything I put out there?
But... I figure-- I won't know until I try. So, here I am...