Trepidation

Happy New Year!

I had a fun celebration this time around, ringing in 2012. And ever since, it feels like time is going even faster than it has in years prior. I’m feeling a little lost at the moment, and a little contemplative, as I often feel in January.

The holidays are over, and yet, I can’t seem to get up the motivation to take down my decorations. Anyone else having that problem?

I’m still out of work and feeling very nervous about what that means for February (rent and other things)… and also wondering what that means for my apartment, since my lease is up at the beginning of March.

And while I know that it will all work out as it’s supposed to, I am also really struggling to continue having faith that I’ll be okay.

Sometimes, when it’s so foggy that I can’t even see the next step right in front of me, everything feels overwhelming.

Sometimes, it feels like things end as quickly as they begin.

Sometimes it’s hard to tell what is real and what isn’t…

And sometimes you need your friends to help you see what you were denying…

I’m talking about David, of course.

It’s over.

I learned a lot from this relationship, and I know that the next time love comes along, it will be bigger and even better.

I’ll write a longer and more meaningful post at some point soon. I’m actually working on one right now, comparing codependency and cat hair. Oh yeah, it will be a fun read!

A very good thing is happening, though. I started a new writing group. I will be writing a post about that soon... as soon as I can locate my motivation. But we have our second meeting tomorrow night, and I'm definitely looking forward to it.

So I guess, to sum up… I’m feeling a little melancholy.

And that means… motivation is eluding me.

How do you motivate yourself when motivation seems to have slipped away quietly in the middle of the night?