Dear John...

I wish I had a good way to broadcast to celebs who keep managing to get themselves in trouble. I mean, I do, with this blog, but let’s be real. My name isn’t Perez Hilton.

I don’t even have a hundred hits a week, because I don’t update as often as I want to or could, I don’t do all the things you’re supposed to do in order to gain more readers quickly. I just write here whenever I feel compelled, and obviously that isn’t very often.

But we’re not talking about me, for once. We’re talking about troubled celebs… and if you want to get more specific—troubled musicians.

I can kind of grasp what it’s like to be a troubled musician. In my own way, I used to be one. I played the piano from third grade on. I used the piano to get into an up-and-coming music school at a high profile university.

And the moment I got my first grade for playing the piano… I knew I was going to quit.

I suddenly wasn’t doing it for myself anymore. I was doing it to get a grade. I felt like a sell-out. I felt like I had to produce, produce, produce, just to be considered someone worth listening to.

That really brought home my understanding of what a musician must go through in order to “make it big”. Especially in this day and age… you have to become something bigger than yourself to be known.

Or else, it takes you many years to gain notoriety, like it has for Adam Ezra—who is an incredibly talented and committed musician… but because he refuses to sell out (good for him, I say) or become something he isn’t, he’s had to work harder to broaden his audience.

And then there’s a whole other type of musician-turned-celeb, like Kurt Cobain. He got swept up in the music, and the press, and he tried to deal, and he failed.

Kanye West is another talented musician who doesn’t seem to have a clue on how to handle fame.

How about the latest debacle, though?

John Mayer.

I love me some John Mayer. His music is at times brilliant, especially his latest work, and now that the ultra-annoying run-through-the-halls-of-my-high-school-scream-at-the-top-of-my-lungs song has all but left the radio waves forever (Thank God. Seriously.).

I do get that he’s a little troubled under that arrogant exterior. And it doesn’t take a genius to realize that, if you read between the lines of what he does and doesn’t sing, he struggles with depression.

I get the feeling that he really does only want to write songs and play guitar, and the rest is just the crap that he built around himself… perhaps as a mode of protection—a façade to hide how hard it is to be in the spotlight all the time.

What I’d like to tell him is… please come to Texas for a while, and give Pathways a try.

It’s more than just media silence. It’s more than just taking a look at yourself.

It’s about healing and learning concrete ways to do it better in the future. I bet Pathways could teach him how to show his fans who he really is… his soft underbelly—which, as a singer/songwriter, you’ve got to be willing to expose… yet still be a grown-up who knows how to maintain his dignity.

I said the following recently, and while the actual topic I was referring to deserves its own post, I’ll post the pertinent excerpt here:

We need to shed this age-old notion that a "real man" is someone who sucks up his feelings and does "what he needs to do".

That's just not true.

A real man is someone who has the courage to face the demons within, allow himself to feel, and show vulnerability to those he loves, while showing compassion and strength to the world around him.

There is undeniable strength in tenderness, and it takes true courage to be vulnerable.

No matter how you do it, John... be a real man.

Tip Thursday: Playing Favorites

This edition of Tip Thursday shows off one of my favorite color combinations: pink and blue. Not just any pink and blue, though. Peruvian blue opal with pink. Hot pink, baby pink, purpley-pink, or any other pink.

I love pink, but this particular combination really pops. Whenever I wear this necklace, I wear it with baby pink or a purpley-pink shirt, and I let the Peruvian blue opal pop all on its own.

The opal shows up rather pale in this picture, but it’s really more of a robin’s egg blue. It’s absolutely gorgeous, and anytime I get to show off one of my favorite gemstones with one of my favorite beads (yes, I made that focal bead!), it’s a happy day.

So… try wearing a pop of light blue with pink. It’ll definitely brighten your day!

*Note about Peruvian Blue Opal and Peruvian Pink Opal* These stones are brittle and can break/chip easily, unless you wear them regularly. Like pearls, they require the natural oils of your skin to keep them vibrant and healthy.

Peruvian Blue Opal metaphysical properties: Relatively rare and comes from the Andes in Peru, it is a moderately translucent stone with a blue-green color quite similar to the Caribbean Sea. This stone has soft relaxing energies, and lore tells us that it has the ability to remove the tension from any communication to help ideas to flow freely. It is told to soften the impact of stress from the outside world, helping one to release the trauma of old wounds, facilitating facing the future with a tranquil self healing nature. It is good for quieting the mind and helpful in aiding sleep. [Source]

Oh, wait… I should mention that I’ve also put peridot in this necklace, which is another of my favorite stones. Who knew I’d come to love green so much?

Peridot metaphysical properties: Peridot is a general healer. It’s also one of the most fortunate stones, indicating an in-flow of money, love, luck, and peace into your life. Use peridot to flood your mind, body, and spirit with a sense of peace and well-being. (Source: The Illustrated Directory of Healing Crystals by Cassandra Eason)

Slanket City

It's been a cold, wet day here. Perfect weather for wrapping up in my nice, warm Slanket.

Hubby bought me a pink one for Christmas. It was my only Christmas present, actually, except for 2 DVDs (Pride and Prejudice and Sense and Sensibility, if you’re curious). And you know what? It was the perfect gift.

I’ve used it often and I absolutely love it. It’s definitely warm, and it doesn’t take much research to figure out that the Slanket is far, far superior to the knock-off Snuggie.

But Hubby still scoffed at it. Over and over.

Until the first time he had to reach his arm out from under his warm blanket to retrieve the remote.

He looked over at me, with my freely moving, Slanket-covered arms, and made the most pathetic scowl ever.

And every time he grabs his blanket and yanks it high enough to reach his chin, he groans and grumbles because the blanket no longer covers his toes.

So… I asked him if he’d like to have a Slanket, too.

Of course he does, now that he sees the merit.

So, I ordered him one today.

I love my Slanket. Love love love it. I should note that it’s also the most outrageous cat magnet ever. It took Brianna all of 30 seconds to decide that this new thing covering up Mama was A-OK in her book. She even sleeps on it when I’m not using it, and she’s never done that with any other blanket.

So… yes. The Slanket is Mama Approved, Kitty Approved, and [soon will be] Hubby Approved, too…

2009: A Year in Review

Let’s face it. It’s been a rough year. For many… including us—it’s been a rough couple of years.

When we rang in 2009, we drank a bottle of champagne and literally grinned with joy and adulation because it wasn’t 2008 anymore. We didn’t think it could be “just as bad”; we didn’t think it could get “worse”. We were determined to make 2009 a better year.

The thing is… that’s easier said than done. My husband was still unemployed, and even though he’d gone through some pretty amazing changes in his attitude and the way he approached life and made choices (thanks to Pathways), we still had that money problem. He was still out of work, and the unemployment benefits were running out.

And worse, I was still a contractor at the time, and prospects for me were all but zero. I got a few weeks worth of work here and there, but the stretches in-between work were getting longer and longer.

Surely this can’t continue, we thought. We were so full of hope. Couldn’t that carry us through?

For a while, yes.

It’s hard to hold on to hope when you’re watching the bills pile up, and you can’t pay them. It’s hard to hold on to hope when you’ve already lost so much, and you’re afraid you don’t have much more to lose except yourself.

And that is never a good feeling.

Faith wanes, hope turns from bright pink to the palest, faintest brush stroke, and the black hole of despair grows wider and stronger. It longs to suck you in.

And it’s easy to disappear into that hole, too.

I should know. I’ve let it happen so many times before.

For some reason, this time was different. It was different because I was so incredibly determined to make it different. I was tired of letting the black hole win, and I knew I had to fight for what I wanted: security, stability, and maybe just a little bit of peace, and a whole lot of trust.

Trust in myself.

Certainly, things worth fighting for…

There comes a time, though, when you’re fighting to stay upright, fighting to maintain sanity, fighting just to continue moving forward, and it feels like you’re stuck in the mud. Like no matter how hard you fight, no matter how much determination you have… you’re still getting nowhere.

You know what that moment feels like, right?

I learned to do something different this year.

I learned to fight for what I believed in, and when it felt like the fight became impossible, instead of only hard, I did something that felt altogether foreign, yet magical.

I let go.

The first time I did it was in my job search. I did everything I knew to do. I emailed everyone I knew, including copies of mine and my husband’s resumes, asking for help.

I searched for jobs—full time, part time, temporary, contract, whatever—as many as I could. I applied to so many jobs that often by the time I’d get a call back, I forgot I’d even applied with that company.

I expanded my LinkedIn contacts. I networked with everyone I met, introducing myself and letting each person know what my skills were and what I could offer a company, in a casual and non-salesy way. (As an aside, this step alone is a huge move forward for me. I had no networking skills a few years ago. Not only was I shy, but I wasn’t sure what to say about myself. Once I realized just how powerful networking really is… I changed that!)

In the mean time, I also made jewelry and posted it regularly to my Etsy store, making sure to keep the postings consistent so I’d get more hits. My sales went up, which helped us some.

In other words, I fought hard for what I believed in: me.

I was determined to keep our home and at least one of our cars. I knew I’d do whatever I could to make sure that happened.

For a long, long time, I got nothing in return.

It felt like I was trying to climb up a never-ending wall. The fight had morphed from hard to impossible.

In the past, I would have felt desperate. This time, though… I had faith that everything would work out. I had no idea how, but I also realized that I didn’t have to know how.

In other words… I let go.

Sometime around then, we received a very unexpected gift: two nice men delivering four bags of groceries to our door.

I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more humble or thankful or human than I did when I answered the door and saw those two men.

And soon after that, I got a phone call. A fantastic woman I’d worked with a couple of years ago thought of me when a position came open in her group. We had become friends since then, and she remembered seeing my email asking for help. She thought I’d be a good fit.

She was right!

I started my job at the end of June, and a pretty magical thing happened.

After being unemployed for a year and a half… my husband got a job with a great little company in August.

And now? We’re still recovering from our long period of drought, but my level of stress and anxiety are back to normal. My blood pressure is back to normal, too.

And, thanks to Pathways and getting to be in the training room (as a trainee when I refreshed the last session of the training in August, as well as being a TA [training assistant] in April and October), I gained more and more faith and trust.

Faith in this life I’m leading… and faith in myself. Trust—which is a huge deal for me—trust in the process. The process of just about everything, honestly: learning to see myself as I am—a strong and good woman who has managed to not only survive but thrive despite going through so much, learning to stop discounting my talents and abilities and start giving myself a little more credit, and finally, trust that as long as I give it my all, and let go when it feels right to let go… that I will receive so many precious gifts!

And honestly… it could have been so much worse. We could have lost everything material. Which… while it wouldn’t have been the end of the world, it would have been much, much worse than what actually happened.

We could have lost our minds, or lost each other, or lost ourselves. We could have lost family or friends.

We lost nothing of the truly important stuff… but we did receive many precious, priceless gifts.

Dear 2009,

All in all, you were pretty good to us, albeit in a round about way. Thanks for being here, and for giving me so many chances to see and feel redemption, trust, and faith. Not to mention the value of letting go at just the right moment.

You taught me some valuable lessons that I’ll cherish from now on.

Best Wishes,
Linda Lee

How was 2009 for you?

Sherbert Supreme - Add some color to your world!

Hands down, this is my new favorite. Isn’t that focal bead just yummy? I’ve used lots of equally yummy gemstones to accent it, too: citrine, peridot, aquamarine, plus some matching lampwork beads and sparkly Swarovski crystals.

I could really almost eat this one, but I'm not sure it's wise to eat glass. ;-)

This is the perfect necklace to wear when you need a little pick-me-up. Or when you want to draw some attention. Or… when you’re in a playful, fun mood, and you want to give others a smile.

I adore bright colors, and putting them together in a way that’s successful is a challenge I love taking on.

This necklace definitely won’t disappoint… I can’t wait to see who snatches it up!

Now, you may ask: What on earth can I wear this with? I have lots of ideas. It would really pop against a white or ivory-colored shirt... or a black shirt. Or, pick one of the colors in the necklace to wear (a solid shirt) - green, yellow, aqua, pink, orange, or blue. Pair it up with jeans, khakis, or dress-pants... or a skirt! This necklace will definitely beg for attention, especially paired with the lovely citrine and peridot, which are both attention-getting stones.

Enjoy!

Blogging: Diary or Product?

I was recently linked to this article for the first time.

It made me think: is my blog a diary or a book?

I'd like to think of it as a jewelry blog that's morphed into more of a whole-picture book of who I am.

When I first started this blog, I wasn't sure where I wanted it to go. Would I use it just to talk about jewelry? Would I incorporate little bits and pieces of my life? Would I tell stories and hope someone might pass along and read them?

I honestly didn't know.

At first I only talked about jewelry-related things. Thing is, when that's all you talk about, you're only going to draw people who are interested in jewelry.

Now I've broadened the topics quite a bit. I have a "feel" for how I want this blog to be, and I hope you can feel it, too.

I want it to be a little piece of me. I'd like you to know me, at least to a certain degree.

I'd like to know you, too, though, and that's one down side of Blogger-- you can't reply to comments individually. It's a serious bummer!

I have even been on a roll lately, with blog posts... except that I got sick last week. I've been pretty much down for the count with a sinus infection and bronchitis. The cough still lingers and I don't have all my energy back (not even close!) but I am at least back at work and feeling more like a human again.

But it put me behind with blogging. I wanted to make Tip Thursday a regular feature, and hopefully a weekly one. I knew going into it that I wanted Tip Thursday to start off with matching colors in your wardrobe to colors in jewelry you wear, but I have a feeling it could morph into other things, too.

After all... jewelry isn't all I know!

All this to say... I'm curious as to whose eyes are passing over this text.

1. Do you keep a blog? If so, link me in a comment!
2. Is your blog a reflection of you as a whole, or are the subjects limited?
3. Is your blog more of a diary, or more of a book?
4. Do you spread the word about your blog or do you leave it to chance?

What's In A Name?

I love getting gifts. I love to give them even more, but that isn’t the point of this post.

At the top of my list of Things I’d Like to Receive is a priceless gift that everyone I speak to can give me. It’s so simple, you may not believe it. Better yet? It doesn’t cost you a dime!

I’d really just like everyone to call me by name: Linda Lee.

You see, for the first half of my life, I was called by my first name—Linda.

It’s a fine name. I have a friend named Linda. I’ve known many people named Linda.

The thing is... I've never really liked it for me. I never felt it suited me.

Growing up, I often considered changing my name altogether. I always wanted my name to be Elizabeth. I would use the name Elizabeth anytime I wrote a novel. (Yes, I wrote novels in elementary school. One of them even got up to 11 or 12 chapters before I abandoned it.) Even in some of my writings today, I often revert to the name Elizabeth, whether or not I'm in the story. At this point it's just habit.

But back to my first name: Linda. When I left home for college, I considered adding my middle name, Lee.

Over time, I integrated the use of my first and middle name, Linda Lee, into my life—first, through work, then through friends, then through acquaintances, etc.

Finally, I told my family that I'd started using my middle name.

Oddly enough, my sister had also started using her full name. Her name is Wendilyn. Actually, it's Jill Wendilyn, following a naming pattern for the women in my family. She's always gone by Wendy... but within the past several years she's started using her full name, Wendilyn.

I wonder if we both felt like we grew into our names.

Now, of course, I go by Linda Lee exclusively—except for a few errant doctor’s offices and some members of my family, on whom I’ve given up the prospect of ever being called by the name I’d like to hear. (Especially regarding family—it’s about picking your battles, and some battles aren’t worth fighting, ya know?)

I feel that Linda Lee suits me perfectly. Many people shorten it to “LL”, and I've also been called "Double L" Or "Luhluh" or other endearing shortenings of my name.

I think that going by Linda Lee serves several purposes.

Not only does it speak to me tonally, and "fit" who I am, but it fits who I've become as a woman, and who I will be, throughout the years of my hopefully long and healthy life.

Linda Lee signifies the changes I've already worked so hard to make, and the development I have yet to traverse.

(For example, my name gives me permission to be playful and light-hearted, which is a personality trait that’s natural to me, and yet—it’s one I’m working on developing. I’ve kept my inner Entertainer under wraps for far too long, and now she’s coming out to have some fun! See that little girl? That's me... she lives inside me every day, but now she likes to come out to play relatively often.)

I am proud of my name.

Now, most conversations with someone new start off with me introducing myself, and correcting the other person when they call me Linda. I don’t mind, but I do wish people wouldn’t assume that because Linda is a common name, that the “Lee” part doesn’t matter and can be left by the wayside.

Oddly enough (to me), many folks assume that Lee is my last name.

And about 90% of those folks assume I’m Chinese! Until they see me in person, that is. And then—well, there’s absolutely no way anyone could possibly mistake this pasty-white-freckled-green-eyed-blond-haired-big-boned-in-addition-to-overweight-British/Irish chick as Chinese.

Still more people assume that after they call me Linda Lee a few times, they can call me Linda and that’s okay.

It’s not okay, y’all.

That’s like… meeting someone named Robert and assuming he goes by Bob.

Or Richard is Dick.

Or Samantha is Sam.

Or Mary Jane is Mary, or Jane.

(This horse is dead, and yet I’m still beating him…)

I’ve started doing various things to help people understand that I really, truly, do go by Linda Lee. On Facebook and a few other places, I’ve started typing my name as one word: Lindalee. Sometimes it’s LindaLee, sometimes it’s lindalee… in reality, it’s Linda Lee, but that so often trips people up, so I figured writing it as one word offers clarity.

My name is more than just a moniker. It’s a significant part of the identity I present to the world.

So, I ask you—what's in a name?

Do you like your name?
Have you ever considered changing your name?
Any other thoughts you'd like to share?

Tip Thursday: Coloring Outside The Lines...

One thing I've noticed, time and time again, when I'm at a craft show or otherwise when I'm selling my jewelry to people, is that most folks don't know what colors can pair together. If someone buys a colorful necklace from me, they often ask what they can wear it with. I then rattle off a bunch of options and they walk away satisfied.

That got me to thinking, though. Not everyone is so adept with pairing color. I'm an artist, so it's to be expected that I'm good at pairing colors.

And since I'm not a particularly selfish person (well, not about this, at least!), I thought maybe I could help others by offering some tips, complete with a photo.

What do you think?

Yeah?

Ok. Here we go.

First tip: Today I'm wearing a green shirt that has shades of turquoise to it... and my necklace is sunstone, which is a gorgeous stone with shades of dark orange, with turquoise accent beads. So... try dark orange with turquoise green. It's an awesome combination!

Sunstone's metaphysical properties: The sunstone gem is a leadership stone, and brings leadership qualities to its wearer. It aids in dispelling fears and phobias and also decreases stress and lifts depression. Sunstone promotes grounding and protection. Sunstone gems also warms the heart and allows the person to get in touch with their life force.

Turquoise's metaphysical properties: Turquoise is porous, so contact with liquids, oils or even perspiration should be avoided. Turquoise is considered a good general healer for all illnesses and excellent conductor. Induces wisdom and understanding, enhances trust and kindness. Brings the qualities of mental and spiritual clarity.

So...

Is this helpful? Let me know what you think!