Change Your World

(Updated Feb. 2013)

Let me ask you something, if you’ll indulge me.

Do you think you can change the world?

No, really! I’m serious.

I’ve been wanting to really write about Pathways for a long time now, but it seems anytime I talk about something that can truly change lives for the better… change the world for the better—no one really believes me, or else, no one wants to listen, because change is scary.

Too scary.

I’ve decided I’m going to write this anyway, and if you believe me, then great. If not, then at the very least, perhaps I’ve given you something to think about.

What exactly do you DO in Pathways?

That’s the question I hear most often. Well, here are the basics: you work individually, with a partner, with a small group, and within the whole class, intermittently.

Here’s a wee bit more information…

• You take a hard look at what’s holding you back in your world and how it happened.
• You learn to take accountability for your reactions to what has happened to you, as well as the bad habits you put in place that perhaps at one time protected you, but are now holding you back.
• Through a pretty intense process, you have the opportunity to let go of a lot of baggage that’s holding you back from living the life you want.
• You learn to identify negative habits that you once created as coping mechanisms. After identifying those habits, you learn how to replace them with positive habits.
• You put all the tools you’ve learned into practice in the “real world”, including creating a plan for your life.

How long does it take?
The training takes place across a four month span. The first three training sessions are pretty close together. Here’s an example schedule with the name of the training first, followed by the date:

• The Weekend – Jan. 8-10 (Fri-Sun)
• The Walk – Jan. 20-24 (Wed-Sun)
• P1 – Feb. 5-7 (Fri-Sun)
• P2 – Mar. 5-7 (Fri-Sun)
• P3 – Apr. 9-11 (Fri-Sun)

It’s an investment that works out to about $10 an hour. And now that the price of the first training (The Weekend) has been reduced to $199, it’s an absolute steal.

My journey

For most of my life, I struggled with such intense depression. It turned me into a needy person. I kind of wore out the people who loved me, because I constantly needed to know that they accepted me. I had high anxiety and lots of anger. I was shy and withdrawn.

I’d tried therapy, I’d read tons of self-help books and psychology books, and I’d tried support groups.

Nothing worked because all of the changes felt too superficial. Nothing felt like it went deep enough to really “stick,” so to speak.

I was looking for something truly different.

I entered the Pathways training. At first, I really knew nothing about it. All I knew was, I’d seen my boss go through it and make a huge change in the way he behaved. He was nicer. He was more responsible. He was more focused. He was happier. He was peaceful. He finally married his best friend—a woman he had loved for 19 years, but he’d kept her at arm’s length because of fear.

Seeing these major changes in my boss, I was not only intrigued, I was downright hungry.

In August 2004, I began my journey to change my world.

The training was hard. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done for myself, outside of graduating from college. But, it’s also the most meaningful thing I’ve ever done for myself. Today I am a healthy, strong woman from the inside out. My emotional intelligence and maturity are considerably higher than it ever could have been, had I not had the blessing of going through this training.

The biggest, most major thing I dealt with in the first part of the training was my mom, and all the issues I had with her. She was so toxic to me in so many ways… and at one point, I had very seriously considered cutting her out of my life. I couldn’t do it, though, because I knew that would mean cutting my dad out, too, and that was out of the question.

I am even more thankful for my Pathways journey now, because of the healing that took place between my mom and me.

She passed away in November 2012. I am so thankful that we didn’t really leave anything on the table—no unresolved issues or anger. I am so grateful for that—more grateful than words can ever say.

I owe that to Pathways.

Pathways was the beginning for me. It was the start of a new way of life, a new attitude. I felt joy for the first time, ever. Since going through the training, I’ve grown exponentially. I learned how to accept myself for who I am, and in doing so, I’ve taught people (including my mom) a better way to treat me.

I am so far removed from the sad, angry shell of a woman I was back in 2004. Thank God!

I’ve continued my journey with Pathways as a training assistant or TA, where I have the opportunity to help others on their journey. In turn, I continue my own growth, and let me tell you—it’s a process that continues to give and give, over and over again.

Now? Now I am confident, laid-back, and happy.

I have deeper, more intimate, and more meaningful relationships than I ever thought possible.

I'm more productive at work, too. I'm confident yet humble, and I've learned to accept criticism without taking it personally.

I'm proud of where I am. I recognize that I'm a work in progress, but instead of dreading the process of growth, I actually enjoy it!

In a nutshell, I never could have gotten where I am today without Pathways.

I’m passionate about this organization because I’ve seen the results, over and over again. It worked for me, and through volunteering and helping other trainees change, I’ve seen it work for hundreds.

In truth, Pathways has been around for nearly 30 years, and it’s been the catalyst for literally thousands of people to change their lives. Thousands!

It’s not an end-all be-all solution for everyone. While my heart longs for everyone in my world to go through the training, I recognize that it isn’t right for every person. That’s why there are so many options out there, after all.

Our society is in so much pain, collectively… hard-working folks are losing jobs, committed relationships are falling apart, kids are bearing the brunt of poor decisions made by their parents, and individuals are experiencing more pain and hardship than ever.

Pathways is one way. It’s one way to heal—to face fears and let go of pain that’s held you down for many years. It’s one way to gain awareness of how you’re “getting in your own way” and learning what else is in your way that’s keeping you from living the life you want to live—a life by design, rather than by default.

If you’re interested… Click here to register, or click here to donate.

What happens to jewelry after it leaves my hands?

What happens after a piece of jewelry leaves my hands and ends up in the hands of the recipient? I often wonder exactly this!

Whether it’s someone who purchased the jewelry for themselves, or someone who I gave the jewelry to, or someone who bought the jewelry as a gift for someone else, I always hope the jewelry is enjoyed and treasured. I’m no fool, though. In fact, I’m not afraid to admit that I have full knowledge that my jewelry doesn’t always stay the way I intended it.

I even have a couple of examples. I was in a show last year where I showcased some jewelry designed with beads I’d made. One woman kept eyeing a necklace, stating openly that she didn’t like the way I’d finished it (with a silk ribbon), but that she loved the focal bead so much that she might buy it anyway, and do something else with it.

While part of me wanted to impulsively grab the necklace right out of her hands and stash it in my pocket, another part of me thought, “Well, why not?”

And you know what? She did buy the necklace. I saw the look of absolute glee on her face when she gazed at that bead that I had made. How could I refuse that sale? She got something out of it. It made her happy.

And I’m sure she ripped the necklace apart as soon as she got home and re-did it however she wanted to.

I once put together a necklace made with leather and raku beads (not just beads that had been painted with raku glaze, but beads that had been fired using the raku method), as a gift for a friend. I took care to consider her favorite style and colors. I was still pretty new to making jewelry at this point, and I was really proud of the finished product. It was one of the best things I’d made at that time.

Several months after I’d given the set to my friend, I saw the exact beads I’d used in a completely different necklace on her website.

The necklace was for sale.

At first I was upset and my feelings were really hurt. I mean, how could she? This was a gift I’d crafted especially for her.

And then? I got over it.

Once I gave her the gift, it was out of my control. It was her gift to do with as she pleased. In the grand scheme of things, she could have turned around and sold the necklace as her own. She could have tossed it in a drawer and never looked at it again. She could have re-gifted it. She may have loved it but never saw herself wearing it. I have no clue, and the reality is—it doesn’t matter. What matters is that I had the thought to give her the gift.

I think this works for any form of art.

What about a visual artist who sells paintings? She would expect you to frame her painting, but what if it’s more important to you have that you have that piece of art… not so much that it’s in a nice frame? So, it sits on the mantel unframed, so at least you can look at it while other things bump their way up the priority list and you never quite get around to framing the thing.

Do you think that, if the artist knew, she’d refuse sell me another of her paintings?

Well, I can’t speak for all visual artists, but we have four paintings in total from that artist… and only one of them is framed—with a store-bought frame, no less. We fully intend to have the other three framed, at some point. (What can I say? It’s been a rough few years financially.)

Beethoven wrote the famous 5^th symphony. Most people only know and love the first movement. But what if the last movement is my favorite, and often the only one I ever listen to from that symphony?

If Beethoven were alive, do you think he’d really give a shit?

Of course not! He’d be thrilled that I found something in his music that touched my soul. It moved me in some way.

Or, perhaps a more relevant example—if a DJ cuts in a few samples of Beethoven’s 5^th, thereby modifying his composition and indeed turning it into something completely new and different, is that a bad thing? Is it harmful? My take—it’s actually a good thing. It exposes new listeners to a tidbid of classical music, and they may inquire about the original piece. It modernizes something that many would automatically recognize, and it gives the new artist immediate credibility (which admittedly isn’t necessarily a good thing).

The point is, no matter what, as an artist you cannot have control over what happens to a piece of your art once it leaves your hands. It may be altered, destroyed, broken, painted over, re-sold, etc… and in cases where the action is done out of disrespect, perhaps it’s better that the artist doesn’t know.

I, for one, would stop creating altogether if I was ultimately so concerned about *how* my art was used by the recipient.

Life teaches us that we’re supposed to look for approval and care what others think. But what I’m learning is that what others think of me is none of my business, and in fact, it can be a serious hindrance if I get too wrapped around the axle about it.

Sure, I could have refused to sell that necklace to the woman who wanted to rip it apart—and I’ve seen that happen, too… but when I saw how much she loved the bead, it just didn’t matter anymore.

The point is… once you release your art out into the world, you truly have to let go. That’s part of the beauty of creating.

Honestly, I’d rather that my customers were upfront about wanting a piece altered in some way, so that I could do it for them. It’s something I genuinely try not to take personally. I once sold a necklace to a woman who didn’t like that it was two strands. She only wanted the one strand. I happily snipped off the second strand, and we both got what we wanted—I gained a new customer, I made a sale, and she walked away with a beautiful carnelian necklace.

At that same show last year, a woman showed me a two-strand necklace that she loved. She didn’t want the main strand that actually had the focal on it, she only wanted the secondary accent strand.

Now the interesting thing is, I’d been contemplating making that necklace into a single-strand necklace anyway, so not only did it not bother me that she wanted the second strand… it was actually just what I needed to make the change.

And that’s really what it’s about, isn’t it? Change. Acceptance and rejection. Fear of being “not good enough”.

Well, you know… I say leave all that baggage in the dirt, where it belongs.

There are necklaces I’ve had in my inventory for years, and it feels like something just isn’t quite right with them… I’ll take them out of my display inventory and put them in a bag, waiting for inspiration to redo the necklace. Yes. This happens. I have a pretty full bag of necklaces I’d like to redo, and bracelets I’d like to convert to necklaces, and other various unfinished (un-started, really) projects.

And if a customer wants something altered before buying it… I’m all too happy to do it. I want my customers to be happy with their purchases. I want them to think of me as someone who’s not afraid to push myself and make myself better… I’m only one woman—sometimes I get sick of looking at my own stuff, and if I get a fresh eye on it and someone says “Hey, I think X-Y-Z could hang this way instead of that way”, then once in a while, I may not only learn something new, but I can expand my horizons.

And as you might guess by now, I’m all for that.

More on Murano.

There are few times when I feel an instant emotional connection to something—a material item… a thing.

I had one of those moments when I returned from Murano, Italy.

The trip positively changed my life. As I've mentioned before, it made me feel absolutely connected to creativity again, for the first time in years. I suddenly felt more in touch with who I am. I felt open. I knew who I was again, at the core of my being, and I was unafraid to let everyone see. I felt at home on a torch, wielding molten blobs of glass, when I’d only sat at a torch for a few short hours prior.

I’ve had similar connections before, no doubt. I’ve been a musician all my life—a pianist, primarily, and all of my emotional connection with music fed my ability to communicate through ivory keys and brass pedals.

I lost that ability sometime in college, when the idea of being graded for my emotional outlet caused me to burn out and walk away from playing.

Ever since those days, I have wandered rather aimlessly through a sea of various creative endeavors—writing poetry or essays, and designing jewelry to name a couple—but most of those endeavors have left me feeling somewhat empty or uninspired at one point or another. The ultimate connection between the core of my being and a tangible means of expression was lost upon me.

I lived in Boston for a couple of years, and I once set foot into a piano store with a Bosendorfer front and center. It was the first time I’d ever seen one, let alone been encouraged to touch it. If you’re unfamiliar with them—it’s basically the Ferrari of pianos.

When I saw that Bosendorfer—my heart swelled in my chest and I immediately froze with remembrance of my talent and ability that I’d so willingly tossed away. I couldn’t even touch the Bosendorfer. Instead, I settled upon an electric piano upstairs that had headphones already attached—so my noodling wouldn’t have to be heard by anyone or anything but my aching heart.

I can quickly attach to a piano on a deeply emotional level. But that’s rare with other things.

Which is why I was so stricken when I returned from Italy. I realized that the emotional connection I have to expression has finally changed forms. I no longer craved moments alone to play my homely upright in a rare moment of silent desperation. Oh, no.

I craved the torch, the focused fire, the molten glass oozing its way into round around a mandrel. I craved the folding of color upon color, the swirling of patterns and the plunging of dots and the sparkle of dichroic and gold and silver and palladium. I suddenly wanted to pour my emotions out in the form of glass beads.

So, imagine my surprise when I realize my own connection to glass, and what glass can mean to me.

And then, I saw the bead.

This bead, Murano Magic, made by Sarah Hornik—an homage to a glass sculpture on Murano island.

I felt the same way I felt when I saw that Bosendorfer for the first time in my life. My heart swelled in my chest, and I could feel the edges of my eyes crowding with liquid. I had to have that bead—for what it represents, for the punctuation of what I experienced, for the underlining and exclaiming of all that is Murano, Italy. I had to have that bead.

The timing was pretty terrible—my husband was unemployed, and I didn’t have any work to speak of, and of course—while in Italy, I’d spent a little too much money.

But I had to have that bead.

“It’s silly,” I thought. “It’s a hunk of glass,” I justified.

No good—I had to put a bid on it. Because I had to have that bead.

I lost the auction, but luckily I was able to acquire the bead some months later through a private sale. Lucky me!

It is, without question, a beautiful piece of art.

But it’s more than that. It represents our time in Murano. It expresses something I have, thus far, been unreasonably unable to articulate. It represents a shift in me—a willingness to rekindle my innermost ability of emotional expression. It’s a tangible totem marking my re-awakening.

Murano Magic, indeed.

Testimonials

I understand that looking at jewelry online and deciding to make that leap of purchasing requires a certain level of trust. Trust in me to create a piece that's going to hold up over time, trust that the images represent what you're purchasing, trust that once you submit payment I will deliver, etc.

I thought it only fair to ask my customers for testimonials. I hope you find this information helpful!

"I own four necklaces made by Linda Lee and love every one of them! I have a difficult time deciding which necklace to wear, but I'm always wearing one! I love my necklaces so much I special ordered a bracelet for my mother. It's the most amazing piece of jewelry and everyone in my family loves it." --Jodi in TX

"I love your jewelry because not only are the beads handmade, but the designs are always unique. When I wear your jewelry, I know no one in the world has another one like it. That rocks. And your jewelry is extremely well made. I've never had one piece come apart on me. It's elegant, beautiful, well made. Just stunning. Which is why no matter how many necklaces or earrings I have, I keep buying more!" --Emmi in GA

"When I was searching for the best jewelry for my girlfriend for Christmas, I was stuck. I'd visited many stores and web sites, but nothing had that special, unique feel that I wanted for my gift. After stopping by lindaleestudio, I found so many great pieces that I didn't know where to begin! And when I gave her a hand-crafted, one-of-a-kind set of earrings, the look in her eyes let me know I'd made the right choice. Thanks, Lindalee!" --Jacques in CT

"Approximately a year ago I was looking for something a little 'different' in the way of jewelry to give my daughter who is now nineteen & is, honestly, a little hard to please. It isn't that it has to be expensive... it's just in order for it to be a piece she will truly love it has to be 'different' & even a little 'quirky'. She does not like anything too 'girly' or fragile & we have to take issues like length & material into mind because we're both tired of cutting up poor innocent artwork to get it out of her very long, very thick, very curly hair.

Somewhere in there I discovered Linda Lee & her on line studio & Etsy site & fell in love with a corded necklace she had made where all the beads had been strung & knotted in place to form a sort of braided triple strand~~ all in the front, exactly what we needed. When I mentioned to her Morgan prefers a shorter length than the necklace was originally she promptly offered to shorten it. I purchased it & received it so swiftly I was stunned. My daughter LOVED it & literally didn't take it off for a year & constantly received compliments on it~~ & still does. The beads are gorgeous & original & the necklace itself was well made & sturdy; it's been on her neck through a trip to New Orleans, swimming in the Gulf, & her first year of college where her after class job was at a day care & it survived being tugged & chewed on by toddlers. She loves it so much that when I spotted a ring on Linda Lee's site made with the same bead I immediately purchased it also & once again Linda Lee offered to re-size it & it arrived immediately~~ along with a second necklace she also re-sized for us in the same style as the first but with different beads. She immediately put the new one on & now IT hasn't been off her neck since. In fact, the only time I've seen her neck for the last year WITHOUT one of the two was in two pictures taken during her cruise to Cozumel & it was so odd to see her without it that I gasped in shock~~ & learned that while she went snorkeling, another girl went into the city to shop & explore & asked if she could borrow it.

Gorgeous, original, one of a kind pieces which arrive promptly & are very well made & durable by an artist who doesn't get snippy if you 'order off the menu'... you can't go wrong." --Glenda in TX

If you'd like to offer a testimonial for my jewelry, all you have to do is comment to this post! Thank you so much!

What are You Doing for Indepence Day?

Do you have any plans for July 4th? You know, Independence Day? We don't have plans, but I bet we'll end up doing what we usually do, which is drive to the top of the tallest parking garage in our area and catch fireworks shows from several surrounding cities.

We live the high life, let me tell ya.

I took the plunge and created a necklace with the beautiful (if I do say so myself) red, white, and blue focal bead I made last week. I whipped this necklace up last night, and I have to admit that I love it.

If you purchase this necklace or bracelet by end of the day on Tuesday, June 30th... I'll upgrade your shipping to Priority at no charge! Woot! Check out the details, and let me know what you think.

So, I start my new job tomorrow. I overslept today, which is highly annoying, considering all the things I need to get done. But-- laundry is done, and I already know what I'm going to wear. That's the important thing, right?

Ha! I'm such a girl.

I don't mind, though.

New Hair and the Rest of the Beads

Well, it's been a long time since I had my hair cut and highlighted. I'd been wearing my hair in a ponytail for weeks, because my roots were showing so badly... I was in desperate need of a cut... I was totally uninspired by my hair, and HELLO it's HOT AS HELL in Texas.

So, what do you think?

I'm pretty pleased, actually. I haven't had bangs since fourth grade, but I'm liking this look. I think I'll stick with it for a while.

Now for a few beads...

Generally speaking, I'm not as pleased with these beads as I wanted to be... and for at least a couple of them, I can't at all remember what colors I used to make them.

What's more... a few of them cracked. :( User error, no doubt.

Take a look at the one to the left, for example. Such a pretty bead... I used a technique learned in one of Sarah Hornik's classes last year in Italy... and this is the first time that a bead using that technique turned out pretty good. Until, that is... I tried to get it off the mandrel. Dang mandrel bent... and then a whole chunk of the bead came off. GRR!!! I have to think there's some way that a clever jewelry designer could wrap the buttom of the bead with wire, or something, so it can still be used.

I don't know if I'm that clever, though. Maybe I'll give it to Susy and see if she can do something with it. I'm so bummed about that bead.

Ahh well. And here's another one... it's so beautiful, except for the chip, that is. It chipped when I took it off the mandrel. Yes, I did use my handy dandy rivet tool, and I think I've discovered a problem with using that. It puts all the pressure on whatever part of the bead it can touch, see... so if one side or part of a bead is protruding down the mandrel farther than the main part of the bead, that's the part it pushes up against. So, I think that for the more oddly shaped beads... I need to find a better way to get them off the mandrel.

And yes, I am going to try a different bead release. That bead release isn't the best at the "release" part... unless it's my own inexerience shining through-- which it very well could be. Hrm.

I busted a whole bead into shards, too. Not pleased about that... it was supposed to be part of a two bead set I was going to use to make earrings.

Ugh!

This blue bead with the brown dots? Cracked. :( I'm so mad! It's such a pretty bead, otherwise!!

Now, check this one out. It's my Independence Day bead... and I'm quite pleased with how it turned out! I was using glass I'd never used before... some free samples I'd gotten from Effetre when we were in Italy (*le sigh* that sounds so highbrow, doesn't it? Ha!)... and it looks pretty good I think!! I'm going to make a necklace out of this, which probably won't be ready for sale until *next* July 4th, the way things have been going as of late. Oh well.

Oh, look! Another bead that cracked. *sigh* This one is really pretty, too. I am going to keep it and probably make myself something with this one. Bummer that it cracked... but the cracks are minor and really hard to see unless you're in a certain light.

I did manage to make one pair that will make somewhat uneven earrings. The other semi-teardrop shaped bead below is the one that shattered. Those were a closer, better earring match, too.

You know... if nothing else, this is a huge learning experience for me. All the magic of Italy is gone, and it's just me with a torch trying to figure everything out. I think I should spend a bit of time on the forums, trying to sort out some of the newest colors, reactions, and all that sort of thing.

What can I say, though? I haven't been the best at being online lately. I pop in to update my blog, and then I disappear again. I update my Facebook and often my Twitter status from my phone, but I haven't been good about replying. I'm sucking worse than ever at replying to emails, too. My internet habits over the past month or so have drastically changed... I guess I just don't enjoy spending time on the internet like I used to. *checks pulse* Yes, yes, I am still here.

And, since I've really missed keeping a public blog (which I used to do years ago, on my old website), I've been using this site as my public blog... talking about more than just jewelry-- or in this case, more than just beads.

I have all kinds of ideas for topics, but by the time I actually sit down to the computer to write the post... either that topic has flushed from my mind, or I've got something else pressing, or something else entirely is what ends up getting posted.

Kind of like life, I suppose..

Beads from Last Thursday

I finally got the beads from last Thursday off the mandrel! Say hello to my new best friend, the rivet tool!! I saw this trick on a lampwork forum... use the rivet tool to stick the mandrel in and ease the bead off. Better yet, I bought these tiny rubber o-rings so the metal wouldn't come into direct contact with the bead. Still, one of them did chip a little... but I'm so thankful to have this tool! I'd literally worked my hands sore from trying to pry the beads off the mandrels with pliers, a towel, tapping, pulling, twisting, etc... No more! This simple tool makes it perfectly easy.

Now for the beads! The pink one didn't turn out as good as I'd hoped... but it isn't awful. I figured I can add some wire work to it and make it ok. It was a mistake, of course, to have so much more glass on one side of the mandrel when I flattened it, but I didn't realize the glass was lopsided until I, of course, flattened it. But, you can't deny it has pretty colors, and I do think it will make a neat focal to wear as a choker.

Now, this green one is pretty dreamy, I think. I love it! I'm very pleased with it... even though it does have some visible mistakes (and yes, I know, I'm going to be more critical of everything I make than anyone reading this ever could be). Still, though... I love it.

Now for the best!! I love these two. You'll see 4 pictures... one of each side of the bead. What do you think? Personally... I love these. I did chip one of them a bit when taking it off the mandrel, but regardless... I still love them. I kind of want to marry these beads.

I picked up the rest of my beads today, and unfortunately 2 of them cracked. Waaaahhh!!! That sucks! Of course, what would have been one of the prettiest ones cracked. Boo. I think I let it get too cold at the top though, when I was working it in the flame. Ahh well.

I'll snap pictures of them tomorrow and hopefully show them to you soon.

I'm not sure when I'll get to play with glass again, but I can't express just how much I've enjoyed getting to play with glass over the past couple of weeks. Words? They fail me...

Have I mentioned lately?? I start my new job on Monday. Color me excited!

Also, I'd like to do a giveaway in my blog. And I've been thinking about starting blog features, too, where I feature different artists and crafters. I guess that means I'm jumping on the bandwagon, but I don't mind that. It's all about fun, and spreading the word, right?

Right.

Two Questions

I can't wait to see the beads I made today... especially the last one. Hope I'm not jinxing anything by saying this, but I especially think the last one is going to be super delicious. Can't wait!!

I drove home feeling the most blissful essence of calm. I got to play with molten blobs of glass for four whole hours today.

I'm not sure when I'll get to do it again, but the important thing is... I got to do it today.

I really just have two questions for you tonight.

1. Have you found joy in your life?

2. Has your life brought joy to others?